San Francisco is a small city, but small can be great. We get to randomly run into good friends at bars, at the gym, or spontaneously in the street. The 7X7 square mile city is especially perfect for events like Bay to Breakers when you can stumble through the whole city in a few drunken hours and even see a few pierced genitals along the way. But when it comes to the dating scene, size matters, and honestly, it wouldn’t hurt if it were a bit bigger.
Comparatively speaking, my dating life is relatively tame. Yet, I seem to just have luck like none other when it comes to less-than-ideal run-ins. Let’s take a look through a few of our favorites.
- The last guy I went on a date with was a typical blind date. Conversation was a great balance of fun, flirtatious, and sweet. Nothing spectacular, but enough to solidify a second date. Adhering to the dating playbook, he texted me two days later to set up our next date. We exchanged a few messages, and began discussing logistics for our next encounter. Then, 15 minutes after my last text went unanswered, I saw him. On a date. With another girl.
We both happened to be at the same small ice cream shop in a random
neighborhood. My gut reaction was to wave uncomfortably and fake a smile, most likely with chocolate chips smeared on my teeth. He gave an equally uncomfortable smile back and then turned around to focus on his date. (Side note – they looked better together then we could ever, so more power to him. But that’s beside the point). He never responded to my message, we did not go on the date were in the middle of planning, and we will most likely never speak again.
- The previous guy I went out with went very similarly. We met out, texted for a bit, and went on a date that was really 4 dates in one. Afterward, I found myself in almost unchartered territory. He was seemingly being very genuine, saying sweet things in an effort to win me over, and we exchanged texts back and forth the next few days. A couple days later, I sent him a text to plan when we’d see each other again, which was left unanswered for a few hours. Panic was starting to set it, as I began preparing myself for the all-too-familiar ghosting situation. But then….it happened. As I was waiting for a bus, he walked right in front of me, cuddle-walking with another girl. This was definitely not a 1st, 2nd, or 3rd date type of situation by the way they were swaying arm-in-arm down the street. Needless to say, I’d been John-Tuckered over, my message went unanswered, and again, we will never speak again.
- We’re all aware of the weird situation where I found myself playing basketball against a former fling.
- Once I made plans with a guy to have all our friends meet up together at a bar. When we were texting during the afternoon, we realized we both happened to be at the same park. My friend and I went over to chat with him and his friends, and that’s when it happened. He was with a group of friends and one of them was a guy that formerly ghosted on me (we’ll call him Guy D). After a lot weirdly positioning my body to avoid eye contact with Guy D, his friend and I never spoke again.
- And that leads to me this story. I have this weird relationship with a popular bar in the city. But one time I went there for a family member’s going away party, and long story short, my baby cousin was in the bar. I was tasked with babysitting, and was planning on taking him home once the party started getting rowdy. I was leaving the bar carrying the baby and locked eyes with a former date, who also happened to be Guy D from the park (why is he everywhere?!). He looked at me with sheer terror as if I were the mother of this baby. Funnily enough, the baby happened to be exactly the age he would be if me Guy D really hit it off. But thankfully for everyone involved, this blog is rightly entitled Celibate in the City.
- Next, there was a guy friend of mine that was my first friend in the city. We “hung out” a few times on weird date-like things, and much to my friends’ amusement, only had really weird stories that came of it. But, we continued to be friends that would text and snapchat upon occasion. (I use the term “friend” lightly, as he is an odd character whose snapchat name involves the word daddy and the number 69). Anyway, we ran into each other out one night. After our casual run in, he was texting me wanting to meet up, but I had stopped responding because I made “friends” with someone else at the bar. Yet again long story short, he showed up at the bar too little too late and found me “making friends” with someone else against the wall.
- There was one guy I went on a few dates with that lived mere blocks from me. Naturally, I was convinced I’d run into him looking super haggard after a late night out, or at our mutual Walgreens buying toilet paper. I never ran into him, until the very last night I lived in that neighborhood.
With luck this good, I really should buy a lottery ticket.